Monday 6 February 2017

Is This Love or Emotional Dependency?

One of my clients, whose ex-girlfriend recently broke up with him, asked me the following question:

When you fall in love from the wounded self-- the ego self-- you are in love with how the other person loves you. It is not so much the person you love, but how he or she loves you. The part of you that is "in love" is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others.

When you fall in love from the wounded self-- the ego self-- you are in love with how the other person loves you. It is not so much the person you love, but how he or she loves you. The part of you that is "in love" is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others. Two people who each want to get love rather than share love will eventually find themselves very disappointed with each other. Instead of needing to get love, you can give love from the heart for the joy of it and feel filled in the giving.

Two people who each want to get love rather than share love will eventually find themselves very disappointed with each other. They will each blame the other for not loving them in the way they want to be loved.

You will be able to love another person for who he or she is rather than for what this person can do for you. Instead of needing to get love, you can give love from the heart for the joy of it and feel filled in the giving.

" I think I still love her, but is this love or just emotional dependency? Because (for me at least) it feels as if I can't live without the other person, many times I ask myself if falling in love comes from the wounded self. When I give love from the heart I don't expect anything back, but when I fall in love I think this is a different energy."

When a loving adult is choosing than when your wounded self is choosing, the kind of person you will pick will be totally different. The people we pick have a similar level of woundedness and a similar level of emotional health. Obviously, the more you have done your inner work to connect with Divine Love and bring that love within to take loving care of yourself, the more you will be attracted to someone also does this.

Instead of needing someone to fill you and make you feel worthy and lovable, you already feel worthy and full of love. This fullness overflows and you want to share this love with another person, another loving adult who is also filled with love. Your desire is to share love rather than to get love.


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